Allegory of the Cave of my mind

"Last of he will be able to see the sun, and not mere reflections of him in the water, but he will see him in his own proper place, and not in another; and he will contemplate him as he is. "
~Socrates speaking in Plato's Allegory of the Cave

So much is happening in such a short period of time that I almost feel the need to write daily. I won't begin that habit because I don't want to overwhelm my followers (yes...both of you! LOL) and I don't want to create an expectation (even if I'm the only one who has it) of daily entries.

First, I've had a very odd sensation since I posted, "Hey, Thoroughbred, why the long face?" I found myself inexplicably drawn to talking with God. I have spent decades avoiding Him and putting off prayer until I felt too guilty to put it off any more...or going into prayer with a laundry list of "I know"s and "I want"s. I wasn't listening. I was pretty sure He wasn't listening. And I knew it should matter to me, but it only mattered that it never felt right. I felt like an outsider to a club with no idea how to find the secret door to even ask for entry. For these reasons, I was surprised to find myself eager to talk with God after that blog entry. It was as if I just needed to unload my grievances with Him before we could have an open dialogue. I still don't know exactly what He's doing or what He wants with me. I'm just going with the flow and accepting that I feel an urge to talk with Him. So I'm doing it and waiting to see what will happen next.

Second, today is the first full day without cable and KC (of KC Chronicles fame) went back to Cackalacky after a fun-filled weekend visit. I have some sort of horrible chest cold or pre-bronchial thing that a classmate was kind enough to bring to class last week. So I've been at home, wrapped up in various blankets, reading books, writing, researching, talking on the phone, eating, and occassionally thinking of what I could be watching on TV right now. I can tell you this has been the longest day I've experienced in a VERY long time. I feel like I've gotten a lot done and missed a lot all at the same time. I've found myself moving from task to task, unable to sit for much more than about 30 minutes at a time without looking for something else to do. I wonder if I'll get accustomed to the quiet and will eventually slow to a healthier pace...or if I'll go crazy and start hiding in the bushes and jumping out in front of oncoming traffic just to entertain myself. Again...remains to be seen.

Third, I've just taken a quiz I think you might find interesting. It outlines your character strengths. Here's the short version of my results:

Your Top Character Strength: Fairness, equity, and justice
Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.

2nd Character Strength: Capacity to love and be loved
You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.

3rd Character Strength: Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.

4th Character Strength: Social intelligence
You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.

5th Character Strength: Creativity, ingenuity, and originality
Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.

I was a bit surprised when I saw that justice, fairness and equity were my top character strengths. I didn't realize those things were so important to me. I've always said you should never ask for what you deserve (aka "justice") because you might just get it. And as a believer in Original Sin, I'm not looking for justice. I want grace and mercy. Justice is what lands you in eternal suffering.

So now I'm left to wonder what this means. I care about justice, fairness and equity more than anything else? Is that one of the reasons I'm so disappointed in the world? Is the apparent lack of justice and fairness just bumming me out to the point that I'm stuffing myself with food I don't want and all other manner of self-medicating just to escape the miserable facts of life? Ugh.

This is going to take some digesting. Please share your thoughts and comments!
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ALSO, here's where you can find the survey: http://viainstitute.org/. Just click on the red "Take the VIA Survey" box on the right side of the screen. I'd love to see your results. Please feel free to share the short version of your results in the comments section of this blog.
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